Mom Musings: On Being a Mom of 2, Being a WAHM and Quitting My Job

As much as I wanted to say my two kids are always kissing and hugging and there's no sibling rivalry, I can't. There are days I question myself if I'm doing my job as a mom in teaching my child how to be good to her sibling.
Y is a loving achi. She kisses and hugs R when she sees me doing it. She would take her shoti's fingers out of his mouth when she sees him feasting on his fingers. She would help her papa get all the things needed for his diaper change. She would help when we're giving shoti a bath although she's just playing with the water but you know she wants to help. She'll make gigil with his shoti but despite all those, I don't think she understands the whole concept of sharing yet. She gets territorial with everything, as in EVERYTHING, including me. Most of the time distraction works on her, add a little humor there, sometimes it doesn't work at all. Can I split myself into two? I feel guilty when I give more attention to one kid than the other. How do you do it?

Y is in her Terrible Two's. She screams if she doesn't get what she wants, either that or she cries agad. Is this normal for a 2 year old? Sometimes I fear she'll become one those kids who hits other kids (because she does it to me, her yaya, her amma) Do they understand what's wrong and what' not? I've tried talking to her but she'll just smile at me, cup my face and kiss me, how would I get mad? I admit I sometimes lose patience and snap at her. I feel bad every time this happens. I don't want to be a bad mom/parent.

Sometimes I wonder if it is me being a working mom that I don't get to spend more quality with my daughter, and hinders me from nurturing my child to the best of my capability and leaving the disciplining with the yaya (which isn't the case ha, hypothetically speaking). My husband stays at home but his hands are full from taking care of shoti (because we didn't hire a yaya anymore), that there are times when he can't look over Y. All of these things are really making think twice if I should quit the corporate world and be a WAHM/SAHM instead and be with the kids. I really want to be there for my kids in their formative years. Really. Now question is, why am I still not writing my resignation letter?
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6 comments :

  1. Fleur Rubio-SombreroNovember 18, 2012 at 2:13 PM

    I have the very same question to myself, Cai =/ Bakit nga ba?

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  2. Ma. Teresa Grech Q. RacalNovember 18, 2012 at 2:52 PM

    hello! I am mom of 3 girls. I have 2 pre-teens, and a 5 year old girl... let me share this. I am a stay at home mom, with my 2 older girls, I could say that there were "sibling rivalry". I have experienced the worst/worse tantrums from my eldest. but I just let her be, I snapped as well with my 2 older ones... but time pass by and when they were ages 5 and 4 respectively, I talked to them like they were my age. tell them consequences of doing one thing. and I tell you with my youngest, IT IS REALLY different. as in. good thing, the principal of the school where Amaya goes to, told me that KIDS NOWADAYS are called the 21st century kids. They are not like us years ago, na nakukuha sa tingin and all... kids nowadays are different. PATIENCE is key... if you are tired from the whole day's work, it is not bad to let the kids be with their yayas FOR THE MEAN TIME until you have cooled down. I am not working pero i still snap. I have experienced with my youngest the so-called terrible two's and it is indeed terrible. hahaha! lucky for me that I have 2 older ones, who once in a while takes over, even just for a moment. probably the reason you're not still writing your resignation letter is because you believe in your heart that you're still doing the right thing. Hey we moms have that instinct. And I believe that your kids will grow as good kids. Haba na nito. hehehe! I hope I was able to share kahit kaunti... and lastly, don't forget to pray... It helps... :))

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  3. applesanddumplingsNovember 18, 2012 at 9:47 PM

    Ang hirap noh? I don't know kung san ako magsisimula. :(

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  4. applesanddumplingsNovember 18, 2012 at 9:48 PM

    Thanks Grechie! What you said are very helpful! Patience is the key talaga. Ang kukulit ng bata nowadays!

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  5. PattyB00November 19, 2012 at 8:18 AM

    I hope you'll welcome the unsolicited advice from someone who has "been there, done that". To be a WAHM or SAHM is every working mother's dream. Every single day I spent at the office always included making numerous calls to the house just to check on my kids. But this went on for more than 2 decades :) And even when I left the corporate world, it was not under "normal" circumstances. I believe that God was instrumental. It was a wake-up call of great proportions, my Mom told me it HAD to happen so that I could finally give my children the attention that they need. I'm not saying the same thing should happen to you :) What I'm driving at is ... it is really up to you/us to decide. Most of the time, all it takes is a leap of faith. We become so comfortable and secure in our jobs and even if we don't admit it, we're afraid of the lifestyle change that a resignation will bring about. If you've been in that situation for a while, resigning is a life-changing decision. I can make kwento about all the adjustments I went through but that would mean a longer post hehe. When you know the time is right, it will happen. If in your gut, you feel that it's what you need to do, you'll find the courage to do it. Until then, enjoy the financial independence and well ... find the kind of balance that works for you and your family. I was a super busy working Mom while Anissa was growing up (in a broken family at that), and she didn't turn out bad :) Kaya mo yan!

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  6. applesanddumplingsNovember 21, 2012 at 11:49 PM

    Thank you Patty! Sana nga kaya ko! :)

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